i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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