marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
