she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
