Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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