he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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