If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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