Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
