Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
