did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
