At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize