She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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