Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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