tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize