Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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