We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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