btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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