i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
