I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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