He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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