broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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