She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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