I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
