gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This gyro tastes like lonliness
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
