For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
