Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
