the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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