I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
where am i from again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
