Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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