Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
