i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
