you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
