We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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