I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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