I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
