well you can't waste a boner
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
