my vag is so smooth its legendary
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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