Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
