she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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