Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
