I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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