yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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