Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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