My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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