She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
