Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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