Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
