Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
