I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
