so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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