Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
