I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
