I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
