yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
