Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
