Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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