I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
