She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
