As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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