you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
