That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
