Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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