Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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